Good Heavens, You're Annoying! You just might be turning into an annoying believer.

Of course you’re thrilled to be a Christian.  And you want to share it with everyone.  But you may be getting carried away.  Are you becoming the kind of Christian you used to make fun of before you got saved?

Here are some signs that maybe you’re sharing more than necessary.

1.        You refer to Jesus as “Christ” and God as “the Lord.”

2.       Saying grace takes five minutes (and the food gets cold).

3.       You are offended by religious jokes.  This is particularly annoying if they are jokes about your denomination.

4.       You tell a long story about your dealings with the cable company (“I’ve called four times and every time they tell me something different.”), then cheerfully say, “But I’m thankful to have cable.”  This might not be too much of a problem because your listener stopped paying attention five minutes ago.

5.       You claim you don’t know your zodiac sign, your significant other’s, or your children’s.  If someone says anything about horoscopes, you say, “The stars don’t control our destiny.”

6.       Someone (probably jokingly) talks about their prior lives or their future incarnations and you correct them.

7.       Someone talks about what they’re going to eat in heaven and you explain that we can’t imagine what heaven will be like, but it probably won’t involve food.  (I don’t joke about this.  I am counting on eating in heaven.)

8.       You say things like “discern” for “figure out,” as in “I can’t discern how to send pictures on my new phone” or “Be mindful” for “Keep your head out of your behind and pay attention.”

9.       You wear a Blessed Virgin Mother  t-shirt to your girlfriend’s bachelorette party (even if it’s funny).

10.   You wear more than three pieces of jewelry with crosses at one time.

11.   Someone quotes scripture and you correct them.  This is even more annoying if you’re right.

12.   You have underpants with the names of the days of the week and an appropriate scripture.  Even though no one else sees them, this is a warning sign.  You will probably be tempted to tell your friends about them.

13.   You say “scripture” for “the Bible” or “Bible verse.”  (Oops!)

14.   Every time someone talks about doing some fun, Christmassy, but non-religious thing during the holidays you remind them, “This isn’t what Christmas is really about.”  You should really be concerned if the person you say it to is your pastor.