Thursday, August 31, 2017

Holly heck, you're annoying!

If a friend says they wish their ex from Hell would get eaten by an alligator and go back there and you say, "He/she didn't mean it, God,"
Or, regarding your own ex, "I'm just praying that Jesus will come into her/his heart,."
(You can alleviate the annoyance by adding,  "And stop him from being such a jerk!!"  You  can use a stronger  noun or adjective (such a  ******  !!!!!!!!!)  as long as you tell God you don't mean it,)

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Are you going to be this annoying in heaven?

Someone says something catty and then shrieks, "I'm gonna burn in Hell!"  You say, "If you think that, then why did you say it?"

Your friend says, "I was just joking," and you say, "Eternal damnation is nothing to joke about!"


Sunday, March 12, 2017

Back (Way Back) In the Day

I suppose a lot of people (well, some people) have been wondering what Woodstock Churchlady thinks about the last election. I know I have. I did my best to keep up; I watched The Daily Show and Saturday Night Live religiously, although I did not make it a sacred ritual or duty.

But mostly, I was reminded of the campaigns I had worked on: that of a friend who was running for Congress (She lost.), or my first campaign, of another friend who ran for the State Legislature. (He's still there.) And then there was another state legislator who had done so much for the District that they named the new community center after him, but he was indicted for using State computers for his campaign. (He was found guilty, but a lot of people had voted for him anyway.  They changed the name of the community center, though.)

I knocked on doors, handed out leaflets, wore the buttons and tee shirts. I ate the chicken and blocks of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream at the political dinners, with the free pastel mints on the tables and the cash bars.

I really got emotionally involved when Walter Mondale ran for president with Geraldine Ferraro as vice president. I woke up on Election Day feeling like it was Christmas Eve and spent the day working on the campaign of my legislator friend, going door to door to remind people to vote (most of them weren't home) and sitting around listening to war stories of past campaigns and eating hoagies and potato chips provided by the candidate.

He won, but everyone else my friends and I supported lost. We were devastated and for awhile, nothing seemed “right”, as if “the times were out of joint.” But The Holidays arrived, and who had time to be upset? And then the next election season came around.

A lot of people may think the reminiscing about old battles is a waste of time when there is so much to be done. Others may say that they are getting too old for that stuff.


Thursday, March 9, 2017

Offer it up! Lenten Annoyances

Your friends are enjoying their religious identity, talking about what they've given up for Lent and debating whether Long John Silver's or Popeye's fish is better, and you tell them that it's not necessary to give up anything for Lent or not eat meat "because there are more meaningful and useful things we can do."


Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Good Heavens! You're still annoying! 2

You claim you don’t know your zodiac sign, your significant other’s, or your children’s. If someone says anything about horoscopes, you say, “The stars don’t control our destiny.”

You just might be an annoying Christian!

Friday, December 9, 2016

Good Heavens, you're still annoying!

Every time someone talks about doing some fun, Christmas-y, but non-religious thing during the holidays you remind them, “This isn’t what Christmas is really about.” 

You just might be an annoying Christian!
You should really be concerned if the person you say it to is your pastor.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Just sayin'

If you can call someone "sensible" or "pleasant" and truly mean it as a compliment,

You just might be an Episcopalian!