Did Mary ever get out of jail?

 

I had thought that I had said everything I needed to say and everything that everyone needed to hear about the Bishop Heather Cook/Tom Palermo tragedy.

Then it turned out that Bishop Cook had been intoxicated at a private dinner party two days before her consecration, witnessed by her soon to be bosses, Bishop Eugene Sutton (she is a Suffragan or Number 2 Bishop) and Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori (the head of the entire Episcopal Church).  The bishops knew that she had been arrested for Driving Under the Influence in 2010 and was supposedly in recovery. 

This news sparked lots of discussion.  As usual, the social media was buzzing with it.  Why hadn’t they postponed or cancelled the consecration?  Why isn’t The Church doing more to help clergy (oh, yes, and everyone else) overcome drinking or drug problems?  Why do Episcopalians enjoy our stereotype as sophisticated drinkers?  (You may not find a can opener in an Episcopal church kitchen, but you will find a corkscrew.  Wherever three Episcopalians are gathered, you’ll always find a fifth.   In the Episcopalian version of the changing the lightbulb joke, there is always someone mixing the cocktails or pouring the wine.) 

I am proud to say that I did not participate online.  I’m not so proud to say that I am participating now.  But I am because this is kind of weird.

Lately, I keep thinking of a public service announcement that I saw as a child in the fifties.  I can quote parts of it verbatim.

It starts out on a sunny street in a pleasant little town, just a little more upscale than Mayberry.  The narrator, who sounds like a fifties sitcom dad, begins:

“Mary Kendall’s in love.  The whole town knows.  And this time it’s for keeps.”

We see Mary, a pretty young woman in a pretty dress, wearing a diamond ring, driving her car, with a dreamy smile on her face.

The narrator goes on to say that Mary is a good driver and has never had an accident.  But sometimes a person can be so used to doing something that his or her mind wanders.

“And in a moment, Mary Kendall will kill” (dramatic pause) “nice old Mrs. Souwikki.

Then we see Mrs. Souwikki in her housedress and (probably; I’m not sure) a hat crossing the street carrying a bag of groceries.

I don’t remember seeing the accident but I do remember the narrator’s next words.

“Now, this won’t do Mrs. Souwikki any good” (scene of Mrs. S’s body being loaded into the ambulance) “Or Mary either” (pronounced “i-ther”) (scene of Mary standing by her car with at least one policeman and crying).  “But it might help you.”

I don’t remember what was said after that but, really, did they have to say anything more to make the point?

A nice old lady is gone.  Mrs. Souwikki probably had cookies for her grandchildren in her grocery bag or maybe even chocolate chips to make the cookies from scratch.  Mary’s life was ruined.  (At the time I thought this was because she would go to jail and wouldn’t be able to have her wedding with the beautiful dress and veil, rather than thinking that she would be tortured with guilt for the rest of her life.)

I don’t know whether this helped me.  But it certainly had an impact.

So what is the connection?  Blog posts and sermons and committees and task forces certainly won’t help Tom Palermo or his family.  Or Bishop Cook either.

But can we say that the posts and sermons, the resolutions of the committees, and the action plans of the task forces won’t help us as individuals?  Tragedies involving people we don’t know come down to being all about us.  How do we react?  Can we learn anything?

And can The Church (any church, really) be helped by all the words about this?  I like to think it could.  But does The Church really believe it can create organized help for people with addictions?  People involved with alcoholics or drug addicts are told over and over, “You can’t help them.  They will only drag you down with them.”  The only person who can save an addict is the addict, usually with the help of other addicts (who will always be “recovering” because once they forget this, they will probably begin to self-destruct again).

As usual, I am not offering any solutions or even suggestions.  I am offering my thoughts partly to sort them out for myself and perhaps bring a spark of recognition to the reader.  “So I’m not to only person in the world who feels that way.”

Like the sermons and committees, this won’t help the principals.  But maybe all the words of the blogs and sermons and the work of the committees and task forces may help other people.

Maybe someone will realize they have a drinking problem.

Maybe someone will stop texting while driving.

Maybe someone will realize how lucky they are their friends and family are alive.

Of course, these things are not worth the death of Mr. Palermo.

But might all of this or some of this help you?

By the way, does anyone else remember Mary and Mrs. Souwikki?