All Over Again

A

A little more than two months ago, I had a total hip replacement.  This was to correct the two inch "leg discrepancy" (My right leg was two inches shorter than my left leg, in regular talk.) that occurred after my broken hip in August of 2014.  This involved four days in the hospital and seven days in a rehabilitation facility.

I really haven't done a lot of spiritual thinking about the significance of this, but I have made a few observations,

1.  There are ads for some orthopedic groups that "promise" that you may be out of bed the day of the operation and going home the next day.  This is more of a threat.  Getting out of bed wasn't that big a problem, but I was very glad that I didn't have to go home and could have a nice rest in a rehab facility, eating delicious meals (I lucked out there, Thank you, Jesus!) and being cared for by people who were paid to do it, so I didn't have to feel guilty.

2.  The chief topic of conversation among the patients, after their health, was Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, which was on every day for at least three hours.

3.  You may be put on Hip Precautions to keep your new hip from popping out of place.  The chief one is that you can't bend over or even lean over too far.  There are gadgets to help you put on your shoes and socks, pull your pants on and off, and pick things off the floor,  After you learn how to use them, they are kind of fun. Your grandchildren will love them.

4.  You can use your thigh as a surface to move your computer mouse. It's a long story.

5.  Ensure may seem like a drink for old fogeys, but it doesn't taste bad.  It reminds me of a thin milkshake,  My favorites in order are dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and vanilla.  Butter pecan does not taste like butter pecan.  Strawberry turned me off, so I didn't try it.  And, of course, you can always pep it up by adding ice cream.

6.  Except for Law and Order (any version, although my favorite is the original or Classic), daytime television sucks.  I may be turning into a prude, but I got tired of Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men and Barney the Womanizer on How I Met Your Mother.  (And I think Ted could have done better for himself.)

WARNING: POSSIBLE TMI ALERT!

7.  The idea of a catheter may be creepy, but it's not uncomfortable, and it's nice not to have to worry about going to the bathroom, especially when you can't go to the bathroom in the bathroom.  The experience gave me insight into the catheter commercials on TV, but I hope I never need to order a catheter sample pack.

Just as I was feeling rested enough to start blogging again, I found inspiration for two posts.  I had been a little worried about material, since I don't have anything new to say about Bill Cosby (not that that has ever stopped me before, but he's not only sad but boring) and I am not ready to think about Donald Trump and the Gang. Some things are too surreal even for me.  I won't spoil the posts for you here, but they will be coming up soon.  God works in mysterious ways, Her or His wonders to perform.