Hey, Gene! Wanna go for coffee?

The pending divorce of Bishop Gene Robinson has stirred up discussions, arguments, and emotions.  Opponents of LGBT people, LGBT marriages, and those hybrids of disapproval who don’t mind either as long as they don’t defile their churches, are having a snarkfest of satisfaction.  Facebook pages and blog comment sections are overflowing and some administrators are terminating threads or passive-aggressively observing that the topic has been beaten to death.  This provokes lots of Amens and condescending “I stay out of other people’s business” remarks.

But not all the comments are snide or hateful.  Many of us are trying to process this.  Bishop Robinson is one of my heroes, who in spite of all kinds of pressure, attacks, and hardships, stood up for what he believed in and has been an inspiration and a symbol of hope to millions of people.  And from what I’ve seen of him on television and read of his work, he seems to be a very nice man.  (This is high Episcopalian praise, almost gushing.)  I like him.

So I, and I’m sure a lot of other people, need to keep talking about this, even if we are not saying anything very new.  One way to deal with upsetting things is to think and talk and even cry about them until you are bored with the whole thing.  Then maybe you’ll find some peace.  It is very puzzling to be upset about bad things happening to someone you don’t know.  That makes it even worse.  You say, “I can’t believe how much this is affecting me” and wonder if there is something wrong with you and if your life is so empty that you have to spend emotion on a stranger

I don’t know Bishop Robinson.  If he were my friend, I could send him an encouragement card, maybe a bit cutesy, but not mushy, with an adorable dog or cat, with a note ending “Love, prayers and hugs.”  (Gag if you must.  This is what I do since I got saved.)   I could call and invite him out for lunch or coffee.  If he wanted to talk about the elephant sitting in the booth with us sticking his trunk in the latte, we would.  If he didn’t, we could talk about whatever.  There’s always the pets and grandchildren or what’s on PBS or HBO. (I can hear some people say, “If you want to help people, go volunteer at a soup kitchen.”  I don’t know how to answer that.) 

But I can’t do that.  If I want to have any connection with anyone about this, it has to be through talking with other people, even though it is none of their business either. 

The point I am trying to make is that yes, someone else’s divorce is none of my business, but my feelings about it are.  And everyone has a right to his or her own truth and feelings.

So, Bishop, if you ever read this (or even if you don’t), I am sending love, prayers, and hugs, and if you ever want to have lunch or coffee, just click on the No Comment button.  (I don’t understand that either.)