Happy Easter, Everyone!

Heresy, Humor, or Bad Taste? You Decide!

I’ve always liked the stories about Mary and Martha.  They told us in Sunday School that Martha was too involved with worldly things (like making sure a houseful of people got something to eat) and Mary was more interested in listening to Jesus.  Mary, we were told was right.  After all, Jesus said she had chosen “the Better Part.”  (Luke 10:42)

Unfortunately, I never thought to use this as Biblical justification for my preferring sitting around and talking to cooking and cleaning up, even though the things I wanted to sit around and talk about (everybody’s love life, workplace drama, what was going on with Friends, The Sopranos, The Big Bang Theory) wouldn’t have qualified for “the Better Part.”

The story of Mary and Martha has something for everyone:  sibling rivalry, the philosophical tension between being and doing, maybe even some romance.  I still wonder if there was some romantic tension between Jesus and Martha.  She complains to him that he should tell Mary to help her.  ("Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."   Luke 10:40)  He then basically tells her to chill.   Later when Jesus is about resurrect Lazarus, Martha points out the he has been dead for four days and smells.  Jesus rebukes her “"Did I not tell you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?"  (John 11:40)  Maybe Martha missed that when she was in the kitchen.  Does this remind you of Tracey and Hepburn or any Meg Ryan movie?

And maybe Mary was interested in Him, too.  Isn’t there something kind of steamy about her pouring perfume on Jesus’s feet and drying them with her hair?  Let’s face it, in that story, Mary is no longer a slacker but a hottie. 

And I’ve wondered why Mary and Martha were single and living with their brother.  Were they waiting for husbands?  Instead of the young women I’ve always pictured, maybe they were confirmed spinsters like those found in English “cozy” mysteries or the novels of writers like Barbara Pym.  I can picture a modern Martha in good tweeds and sensible shoes running the church bazaar, while Mary had earnest discussions with the unmarried vicar.

But we never find out what happened to them.  Did they ever get married?  Did they become leaders in the new church?  I’m a romantic and a feminist.  I hope they did both.

 

It's not string theory . . . or is it?

I don’t understand string theory, although I’ve tried.  Well, I looked it up on Wikipedia.  I got halfway through the first sentence.  Thanks to The Big Bang Theory, “string theory” has now replaced “rocket science” as the ultimate impossible-to-fathom thing that something else (like changing a tire or retrieving lost computer files) is not.  (Or supposedly is not.)

Supposedly, Christianity is not string theory.  Some say it can be reduced to “Love God. Love your neighbor.  Love yourself.”  Others say, “The Old Testament has ten commandments and the New Testament has two.  Everything else is a suggestion.”  That sounds simple enough.

But then we come to the double problem of Details and Stuff.  How long did it take God to create the universe? Did Moses turn the Nile into blood or was it just red mud? Was Mary really a virgin?  The Old Testament is full of details and a lot of them are about Stuff – how to build the temple, how to sacrifice animals, what the priests should wear, what to eat or not eat, how to treat skin disorders.  (Leviticus goes into great detail about the making of beautiful things for the Tabernacle and then talks about smearing them with the blood of the sacrificed animals.)

And today, we still have details:  millions of books about theology, millions of debates in meetings in churches, millions (Or is it billions?) of people worrying if they are “doing Christianity” right.  How many of them are making themselves sick with this worrying?

And of course, there is Stuff:  candles, altars, incense, stained glass.  A lot of it is beautiful and even fun.  But what is the Stuff doing to create Christians?  This creates the problem of how we should feel about Stuff.

Have Details and Stuff turned Christianity into string theory?  Do they have to?

Not necessarily.  And maybe the problem is not that they are making Christianity harder, but that as simple as it really is, the problem is that doing is a lot harder than understanding.

I don’t have a solution.  But maybe the first step is to stop worrying about the Details and Stuff.  You won’t be able to ignore them; you just don’t have to worry about them.  Loving God, our neighbors and ourselves is challenging enough.

But we still had the best bands!

Scenes from an Urban Parish

Every morning the sexton picks up beer cans and liquor bottles from the lawn.  Sometimes there are syringes and needles, too.

Homeless people sleep in the churchyard and cemetery at night.  They figure out what time the police drive through so they can hide.

When women go up to take Communion, they take their purses with them.

The church is kept locked when not in use.

When the secretary is alone in the office, she keeps the door locked.

A parishioner is mugged.  The perpetrator is caught, spends nine months in jail, then gets probation and rehab.  Several years before, the parishioner’s teenage daughter was held up at gunpoint in the convenience store where she worked.  The robber is caught, but in spite of identification by two witnesses, is acquitted.

A teenage parishioner is set upon by three acquaintances.  He has to have his jaw wired and lives on milkshakes for weeks.

A large drug store, open twenty-four hours a day, opens.  The spot becomes a magnet for prostitutes and their customers.  The drug store changes its hours to nine to nine.

The neighbors of noisy bar, the scene of many fights, try to have the bar closed.  After a shooting, it is.   A company buys the property to use as a methadone clinic.  The neighborhood, after demonstrations and with the help of legislators, gets the court to stop the purchase.  The clinic appeals and wins.  The status is still uncertain.

The Diocese asks that before every meeting, service, or event the question “How does what we are doing impact those living in poverty?” be asked.

During an evening committee meeting, a man comes to the door.  He says he and his family have just come to the city and are homeless and asks for money to stay in a motel.  The committee members debate whether they should call the rector for money from the Discretionary Fund or chip in themselves.  In the end, they do nothing, but feel guilty.  On Sunday at Coffee Hour, another parishioner tells of being approached by someone who fits the description of the man with the same story a week before in the parking lot at the mall.

The Diocese suggests that for Lent everyone limit his or her food expenses to thirty dollars per person per week, which is the average Food Stamp allotment.  The Bishop says he is going to do it, but does not say how he is going to count the free food at meetings, receptions, etc. 

A parishioner who works in a supermarket sees Food Stamp cards being sold for cash.

I’m just saying

Unearned Atheism -- The Slacker in the Stroller

One of my favorite dead wrong but nice people is Hement Mehta, The Friendly Atheist.  Not only is he unfailing polite as he points out the silliness of belief, but he does it with charm and humor.  His blog, The Friendly Atheist and his You-Tube videos on Atheist Voice include such topics as  “Atheist at  a  Megachurch”, “What Do Atheists Believe Happens to You When You Die?” and “Fifteen Things You Should Never Say to an Atheist.”  (I was impressed that he didn’t call it “Fifteen Stupid Things You Should Never Say to an Atheist.”)

I was glad to see that believers aren’t the only ones who should watch their mouths.  Mr. Mehta has a video “9 Things Atheists Should Stop Saying,” such as “I lost my faith,” or “I can be good without god.”    But the no-no that I found the most interesting was, “Babies are born atheists.”  This is not because he thinks babies believe, but because they have not earned the right to be called atheists.  All a baby has to do is exist.  To be an atheist, he or she has to be bombarded with information such as that there is nothing beyond the material world, that Grandma would have survived the triple by-pass even if no one had prayed for her, that his or her best friend's pastor, who is like a cool aunt or uncle or favorite grandparent, is either stupid beyond belief or, worse, a fraud and hypocrite.  And don’t forget the biggie – when you die, bada bing, bada boom, that’s it for you.  Then the baby, who is by now at least in middle school has earned the title of atheist and can wear atheist t-shirts and necklaces with charms that say, “God free” as he or she rides around in the family car with the cute animal on the back that says “Evolve.”

Well, I don’t think babies are born atheists; I think we are all born with a capacity to believe.  Researchers have proposed the idea of a “God gene” that predisposes people to spirituality.  It even has a name, VMAT2.  But it is more than a God gene.  Throughout history people have been creating rituals and beliefs for themselves, partly out of fear and a desire for explanation of the world.  But I think it also came from wonder, the desire for something greater than oneself, and the marvelous realization looking at the world, that there must be.  And perhaps the God gene is part of God’s gift to us.

Belief has survived disasters, evil, and various Ages of Doubt and Reason.

A baby does not have to earn the title of believer or Christian.  Nobody does.  Belief is in us already.  And Jesus can be, too, if we believe.

 

 

 

  2012 we've been

Examine Your But

The Episcopal Church has a full spectrum of religious views.

In my parish there are those who think Pope Francis is too liberal.  And then there people like me, Whateverists, some of whom, like me, have decided opinions about where the altar should be.  And most people are in the middle.  But we manage to get along, generally.

Sometimes it seems that the biggest debate at coffee hour is whether Hitler had a shot at getting into heaven.

Then there’s the legend of the Bishop who said maybe the Resurrection didn’t happen like it said in the Bible, but also talked about how God spoke to him.  Frankly, I have trouble with both of these statements, but I tell myself that he is entitled to his truths.  Maybe we can talk about in heaven.

This diversity is great, but sometimes we (or at least I) may get confused about how strong our belief are or even what they are.

So Episcopalians, or anyone who would like to clarify his or her views, may be interested in the psychological test or parlor game “I’m __________, but . . .”  First you have to complete the first clause.  “I’m a liberal, but”  “I’m no liberal, but”  “I’m conservative, but”  “I’m old school, but”.  Or “I don’t believe in labels, but. . .”  This may be the easy part.  Most people have a sneaking attachment to their labels.  It gives us a sense of identity and solidarity.  And the anti-label people are even more attached to anti-labelism. 

The interesting part comes after the “but.”  “I’m not High Church, but some smells and bells in the service might fun.”  “I’m no liberal, but why can’t everyone have health insurance?”  “I’m pretty conservative, but the world was created in six twenty-four hour days?  Seriously?”

“I’m sure (Sarah Palin, Bill O’Reilly, the Pope, Hilary Clinton, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher or whoever) isn’t a bad person, but in some things he or she says are just dead wrong.”

What does your “but” tell you about yourself?  What kind of new ideas (new to you, at least) does it stir up?  At the very least it will demonstrate that people, even you, can have seemingly conflicting opinions.  If you think everyone should have health insurance, how should they get it?  What good ideas does the Pope or Jon Stewart have?  You might even want to write about it.  (Feel free to groan here.)

Have fun!  And if anyone has any suggestions on how to lobby for smells and bells, let me know!