Is there an exchange policy for spiritual gifts?

I took a test to find out (or "discern") my gifts.  I got the best score for Communication.  My next scores were for Hospitality and Service.  I do not have gifts for prophecy, speaking in tongues, or missionary work.

I can’t say I was surprised at my scores.  Obviously I like to communicate (some people might say “run my mouth”), at least on paper or on line.  I like to entertain, even if feeding guests is simply calling out for pizza.  (I think enjoying being together is more important than elaborate preparation.  Martha would have been able to sit at Jesus’s feet and would have been a happier woman if only Bethany had had Domino’s.)  Service – well, ask me to do something, and I probably will, since I don’t have the gumption to refuse.

These are all very useful gifts, but anyone can have them, even atheists.  I would love to be able to see the future (speaking in tongues not so much -- really not so much).  While I would be honored to be called to be a missionary, I have to admit I won’t be disappointed if it never happens.  I’m not a terribly fancy person, but I like good plumbing.  Of course, if the chance comes along to minister to the wealthy and live among them, I will certainly give it a shot.

And it would wonderful to have the gift of music.  I’d love to be a folk singer specializing in the old folk hymns.  The problem is that I can’t sing.  My church choir director, when calling for more choir members, has said that you don’t really have to be able to sing to be in the choir.  If I joined, I think he’d stop saying that.

Joyce Meyer has spoken about her attempts to add singing to her ministry.  It didn’t work out.  What that taught her was that God wants us to use the gifts we have the best way we can.  I’m glad I heard this from her before I tried to do anything foolish.  Thanks, Joyce!

But I think God understands our wanting other gifts and forgives us.  After all, not everyone has the opportunity to take a Spiritual Gifts test, and you may have to figure things out for yourself.  (I think I’d better say that I am being snarky here.  Please don’t be offended if you knew that already.)  And if we try to do what we really aren’t meant to do, He probably gets a chuckle.

I'm just saying . . .

A Ride Even Wilder than Mr. Toad’s!

Is your Christian journey a walk?  Or is it a roller coaster ride?  Sometimes I feel like I’m going downhill in a wagon.  I’m not doing anything to make things happen, but the momentum keeps building, faster and faster.  It’s fun and exciting, but scary.  One experience leads to another, and (I hope) I grow in knowledge and spirit.

I can steer a bit, and I can sometimes avoid the rocks or bumps in the hill, if I see them.  Sometimes I can’t, and the wagon turns over.  So I can either cry, get back in, or do both.

Eventually, I get to the bottom of the hill.  It’s kind of a letdown, but necessary.  Theoretically, I should wait awhile before starting for the next hill.  This is a time to rest and reflect.

When I’m ready, I go ahead, pulling the wagon, going up the next hill, and then, at the top, getting in and, afraid but excited, starting down the hill again.

You're a lovely person, too, but your beliefs do worse than suck! Dealing with atheists.

I was watching an atheist video (something I do when I feel spiritually burned out) and a woman was wearing a necklace that said, “God Free.”  My first thought was “poor thing.”  Then I got annoyed.  Why do they have to rain on everyone else’s picnic?  What do they have to offer?  Why can’t they go on their rational way and let the rest of us do our thing?

Well, they feel they are persecuted.  (Boo hoo!  Sorry, God!)  But how am I supposed to react to atheists as a Christian?

Of course, the church will tell them that we have to love them.  OK, then what?  What do we say to our atheist friends?  You have everything to gain and nothing to lose (and vice versa)?  You need never be alone?  You’ll be happier?

Our friends may listen politely, or if they know we like such things, engage in spirited debate.  Will it change their minds?  Or does listening to a believer strengthen their convictions the way listening to atheists strengthens mine?

We can’t know.  All we can do is offer what we have.  The rest is up to them and God.

You’re Such a Lovely Person -- Why Do Your Beliefs Suck?

You meet all kinds of people in a Bible study group – literalists, fundamentalists, creationists, evolutionists, whateverists.  I am in the last category.

But it has been a leap.  I always believed in evolution.  Then I got to know people who didn’t.  They didn’t seem crazy.  And I liked them!  Then I started listening to Creation Moments on Family Radio:  little biology fun-facts that supposedly proved, at the very least, that Darwin was wrong.  They made sense.  I started thinking “Maybe Darwin wasn’t one hundred per cent right.”

Naturally I couldn’t discuss this with anyone.  My family thinks I’m strange already.  And I just wasn’t up to mentioning it at Bible Study;  I didn’t want to be assaulted by information.

Finally, I came to the conclusion “I don’t know.  I don’t care.  It doesn’t make any difference.”  (You’ll notice I didn’t use exclamation points.  I don’t think it’s worth the effort to exclaim.  It just is.)

It works for me.

How I Got Saved

Episcopalians seem to be uncomfortable with the concept of being saved.  Bring it up in a Bible Study or discussion group and the leader will say something like, “Salvation doesn’t always happen that way.”  By “that way,” he or she means a dramatic conversion experience – having  visions, falling over (because you’re pushed by the Holy Spirit), speaking in tongues or even feeling compelled to go up for an altar call.

None of that has happened to me.  I have to admit a feel I little cheated.  If someone would ask me when I was saved, I’d have to say, “About the second week in June.”  This is after over ten years of church attendance.  Maybe the first few don’t count, since it was a case of “Just go and sit there.  It can’t hurt and it might help.”  Over the years I began to do more emotionally than “just sit there.”  Of course, after about a month, I was serving coffee at Coffee Hour and taking money at the flea market.   But it did not feel sincere.  I still didn’t know what I believed or if I believed, but I knew that I wanted to.  (I also wanted a trip to Disney World.)

I decided to do everything I would do if I believed.  I was afraid that might make me a hypocrite, but as I said to God, “I’m trying here.”  I was waiting for it to click in.  I wondered if it ever would.

Then, I realized that it had.  I was having an internet argument with various atheists (along with some other Christians) and one not only told me that I was passive-aggressive, sick, twisted, naïve, uneducated and dishonest but that I gave people of faith a bad name.  The only thing that bothered me was being called passive-aggressive.  Seriously!  As I typed my answers, I realized that I actually, truly believed what I was saying.

I’ve been a lot happier since then.

Sometimes, I think, getting saved is realizing that you are.

Good Heavens, You're Annoying! You just might be turning into an annoying believer.

Of course you’re thrilled to be a Christian.  And you want to share it with everyone.  But you may be getting carried away.  Are you becoming the kind of Christian you used to make fun of before you got saved?

Here are some signs that maybe you’re sharing more than necessary.

1.        You refer to Jesus as “Christ” and God as “the Lord.”

2.       Saying grace takes five minutes (and the food gets cold).

3.       You are offended by religious jokes.  This is particularly annoying if they are jokes about your denomination.

4.       You tell a long story about your dealings with the cable company (“I’ve called four times and every time they tell me something different.”), then cheerfully say, “But I’m thankful to have cable.”  This might not be too much of a problem because your listener stopped paying attention five minutes ago.

5.       You claim you don’t know your zodiac sign, your significant other’s, or your children’s.  If someone says anything about horoscopes, you say, “The stars don’t control our destiny.”

6.       Someone (probably jokingly) talks about their prior lives or their future incarnations and you correct them.

7.       Someone talks about what they’re going to eat in heaven and you explain that we can’t imagine what heaven will be like, but it probably won’t involve food.  (I don’t joke about this.  I am counting on eating in heaven.)

8.       You say things like “discern” for “figure out,” as in “I can’t discern how to send pictures on my new phone” or “Be mindful” for “Keep your head out of your behind and pay attention.”

9.       You wear a Blessed Virgin Mother  t-shirt to your girlfriend’s bachelorette party (even if it’s funny).

10.   You wear more than three pieces of jewelry with crosses at one time.

11.   Someone quotes scripture and you correct them.  This is even more annoying if you’re right.

12.   You have underpants with the names of the days of the week and an appropriate scripture.  Even though no one else sees them, this is a warning sign.  You will probably be tempted to tell your friends about them.

13.   You say “scripture” for “the Bible” or “Bible verse.”  (Oops!)

14.   Every time someone talks about doing some fun, Christmassy, but non-religious thing during the holidays you remind them, “This isn’t what Christmas is really about.”  You should really be concerned if the person you say it to is your pastor.