Totally Woodstock

Do we still gotta revolution?

Proceeding

Last week I had one of those “procedures” done where they stick a camera down your throat to see what is going on in your digestive tract.  As I was lying on the table waiting for things to get underway, I couldn’t help but wonder (as Carrie Bradshaw used to say) about a few things.

 Where did I put the instructions about my funeral?  My husband knows I want an Episcopal service with the Eucharist, but he doesn’t know my favorite hymns and scriptures. 

Is there food in heaven?

What’s wrong with me?  People don’t die during these things.  Does everyone have these thoughts when they are about to be operated or proceeded on?

Will I feel well enough to make a cake for the flea market on Friday and go to the Diocese Convention on Saturday?

Will they give me the pictures and if they do, should I hang them in the kitchen or the bathroom?

I was also very pleased that this could make a good post.

The next thing I knew, I was awake and it was over.

Yes, I did make the cake and go to the Convention and no, they did not give me any pictures.

 

And the award goes to . . .

Perhaps the award for “Person Who Gives Christians a Bad Name” (this week) should go to Ms. Lou Landrum, executive director of the Spartanburg [South Carolina] Soup Kitchen.  Ms. Landrum refused to allow an atheist group, Upstate Atheists, to volunteer at the kitchen, even though they promised not to wear their atheist t-shirts or identify themselves as atheists.

Not to be daunted, the atheists, who participate in many activities sponsored by religious organizations, set up across the street and gave away “care packages” to the homeless.

I must be a novelist at heart, since I am always thinking “What if . . .?”  What if I were the director of a church soup kitchen and an atheist group wanted to help?

At first the answer seemed easy.  “Of course we’d be delighted to have you help . . .” Change that to  a Church Worker persona, “Golly, that would be terrific, what days can I put you down for?  But this is a Christian endeavor, representing the church, so please don’t talk about . . .  um . . . you know what to the guests.” 

Of course, in the back of my mind, I’d be hoping that the atheist volunteers would be so won over by everyone’s Christian witnessing (which would be by example, not proselytizing) that they would eventually believe.

Wouldn’t this make a wonderful Hallmark Channel movie?   But I can’t decide if the director should be young and beautiful (but probably perky) or of a certain age (not quite so perky, but aglow with the Holy Spirit.)  I am quickly adding that I fit neither of these descriptions.  Naturally, she and the head atheist (probably male; I don’t know if a same sex romance would work on Hallmark yet) fall in love.  I see him as either a sexy, troubled leftist or a charming old hippie.

Naturally, they fall in love and the atheist (Do you have any suggestions for the actor?) comes to Jesus.

But to get back to reality.  Would I really be right to ask the atheists to keep a low (non)spiritual profile?  Shouldn’t a Christian organization allow debate?  If I wanted to offer the guests spiritual options, wouldn’t they be entitled to hear the other side?

I have to admit that my feeling would be “Not in my soup kitchen!”  And I have to admit that I don’t know how I should feel about that.

What would Jesus do? What would you do?

 

Sources:  MSN Now;  Mediaite; The Raw Story

 

What if?

What can I say?

What the (bleep) would it take?

I’ve been keeping a list of things I’ve prayed for that have happened.  Five days after a five day bug, I still wasn’t feeling much better than functional, and friends were basically saying, “Boy, do you look awful!”  (They put it more kindly.)  I made it to church and asked for a blessing.  (I really hadn’t thought of asking God myself.)  By the time I got home, I felt much better.

Years ago, I would get headaches that lasted three or four days.  Then, I can’t remember when, they stopped.  I thought maybe it was because I stopped using a pillow.  But I had started getting them again.  But now, when I feel a headache coming, I ask God to stop it.  I asked boldly, not “if it isn’t too much trouble, if you don’t mind.”  (We had a sermon about that.)  And the headache stops.  (I don’t know if I should use an exclamation point here.  Should I really be surprised?  But isn’t it something to exclaim with joy and wonder?)

Friends I have been praying for are finding solutions to their problems that seemed practically insurmountable.

My faith has grown stronger.

There are others, but you get the idea.

But in the back of my mind, there is this gnawing.  Did things just work out that way?  After all, I had officially recovered.  My friends are intelligent people who can work out their problems. 
Then I think, “What does it take?”  Jesus raised people from the dead and still there were some who did not believe. 

I don’t know what it would take.  There are always going to be doubts. 

I saw an atheist video on Youtube about dumb things Christians say to atheists.  (The speaker, Hemant Mehta, http://www.friendlyatheist.com, put it more politely and was really very charming.)  And one of them was “You just have to have faith.”  It seems that this is what a Christian says when an atheist is about to win the argument.  But we don’t say it just to atheists.  We say it to ourselves every day.

And it isn’t a mark of defeat.  We know a lot of things are unexplainable or can seemingly be explained away.  But we have chosen to have faith, even though we can’t always do it as well as we should.

God understands and forgives.  And He will help if we ask Him.

I'm embarrassed to write this, but sometimes you just gotta vent.

Years ago when I worked in a real estate company, if a salesman needed his secretary, he might send another secretary into the ladies’ room to get her.  We would joke (sort of) that we couldn’t even go the bathroom in peace.  (We put it more graphically.)

I thought of this today, as I was in the bathroom enjoying the go and I noticed that the shower curtain really needed cleaning.   A house gives you less peace than a boss.  I went down to the basement to put in a load of wash and saw that the cats had tracked litter all over.  After I cleaned it up, I decided I might as well change the litter.  I used the last litter box liner, so I wrote a note to pick up some more at K-Mart (the only store that has the kind that fit the litter box) and then started thinking of everything else I needed to pick up.

If I go to do one bit of housework, I always find something else that needs to be done. One thing leads to another until my head starts spinning.  If I don’t take care of them, I feel guilty.  If I do, I get behind in my to do list and feel guilty about that.

 Since the children are grown and out of the house, I can’t blame them for any disorder or ask them to take care of it.  (The last is a joke, as I’m sure you know.)  Of course I can always blame my husband, but it’s not worth the effort to bring it up.

By the way, I am not obsessive-compulsive or even a neatnik.  I consider myself laid back.  A neatnik might not put it so gently.

As a Christian (or just as a thinking person) I realize that I am very lucky to have an indoor bathroom with a shower, a washer and drier, two cats, and everything else.  If I need to remind myself, I can always go camping, since I am lucky enough to be able to afford camping gear and a car to get me to the woods.

So I will thank God that I have enough stuff to drive me nuts.

The snark is not meant for Jesus.

What a friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to share.

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in Prayer.

 

Does your therapist correct your grammar?

At group therapy, do you never get time to share?

Jesus just stays there and listens.

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

 

Does your mother tell you what you should have done when it’s too late?

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Does your sweetie just want to make out on every date?

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

 

Do you friends say that their troubles

Are worse than yours in oh so many ways?

Jesus never complains about being crucified

Or being dead for three days!