Friday, September 26, 2014

I know I said I wanted a break, but this isn't what I meant!


If you’ve been wondering what happened to me, on August 14, I fell and I couldn’t get up.  It turned out I’d broken my hip.  After a ride in an ambulance, an operation, and four days in the hospital, I was moved to a rehabilitation facility and came home on September 19.
I decided to take vacation from writing and spent most of my spare time, when I wasn’t doing therapy, reading, watching television, and going on Facebook.  But I did make some notes.  I guess couldn’t help myself.

1.        There is a limit to how much Law and Order, Special Victims Unit one can take.  Mine is six hours.

2.       Even if you don’t think you’ll be embarrassed about procedures, bodily functions, and the gap in your hospital gown, because of course you’re not a prude, you may be.  Don’t be embarrassed about being embarrassed.

3.        After you get to be a certain age, people are uncomfortable about sending you rude get well cards.  If you like them, tell your significant other to mention it if anyone asks your hospital address.

4.       Unlike hotels (or at least those back in the day), medical facilities are BYOB – bring your own Bible.  My Bibles are either too bulky or falling apart, but I have an old 1928 Book of Common Prayer, which is smaller and contains the Psalms and the words of hymns.  And the instructions on how to calculate the date of Easter were very helpful for getting sleepy.

5.       This is a good time to read, but don’t try anything too complicated.  Forget about Jane Austen and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.  I prefer cozy mysteries.  But if you have a book with an interesting title, put it on your bedside table.  It’s a good conversation piece.

6.       Don’t feel guilty about enjoying the less awful parts of your recuperation, like being waited on.  Your job is to get well and you can’t do that if you feel guilty.

I hope you never need to use these tips.   But if you do, I hope they help.  Now I have to practice going up and down the stairs.